But What if Christmas Hurts?

by Gina Parris

Christmas hurts

The truth is, I actually ENJOY Christmas, but sometimes all the hoopla makes me painfully aware of those who find Christmastime to be downright agonizing. What if you are one of the dear ones who is dealing with deep loss this year? How do you just smile and say a jolly  “Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!!”

Well, for one thing, you can skip the “ho, ho, ho!”  You have my permission.

Next, let’s talk about the range of jolly, merry, happy, jovial, drunken, festive, gluttonous, stupendous, magical, moments of wonder.

What if they all elude you? (except drunken and gluttonous of course.)

Well then, you certainly wouldn’t be alone. Millions of people will spend billions of dollars trying to grasp what eludes them.  But what if just for one Christmas,  things could be different. What if…

What if instead of seeing the heartache for a moment you see…

real angels bringing good news?

Too far fetched? Okay. Let’s try this:

What if instead of inner turmoil you sensed inner peace?

What if, instead of grief, you experienced profound comfort?

What if instead of lack, you had a glimpse of heaven?

What if instead of abandonment you were overcome with a spirit of adoption?

What if instead of loneliness, you realized that you’ve been loved this whole time?

What if instead of rejection, you felt unbelievable favor?

What if instead of sickness, you felt a wave of healing?

What if instead of sorrow, you were overwhelmed with gratitude?

What if instead of darkness, you were flooded with light?

What if instead of despair, you were filled with hope?

What if instead of doubt you were strengthened in your faith?

The tide will always come in and the tide will always go out. The sun will go down tonight,

and it will come back up in the morning.

The winter will give way to spring, and then summer, then fall and more winter.

Your heartache will turn.

The thing that stays constant is undying love.

Love.

I have no three step solution to basking in love.

I have no magical formula.

I have no clever motivational speech.

I simply have my heart, filled with love from the heart of God.

I can’t fill it on my own. I am powerless that way.

Even more powerless is my ability to heal the hurting.

But God says he has a word to sustain the weary. His truth brings water to a thirsty soul.

He offers those with no money to come, buy and eat!

He satisfies your mouth with good things, so your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

My Christmas wish for you is an abundance of love – manifested in a hundred different ways.

My wish is that you will see the unseen, and fix your heart on the eternal.

Merry Christmas, my friend. You may not know me, but I know the One who loves you.

His name is Emmanuel – God With Us.

He longs to fill you, bless you, turn it around for you.

What if?  And then, why not?  Here’s to better days ahead – and to a Heaven that is more real than earth.

Until next time, this Christmas as always, I’ll be right here…

in your corner.

 

Gina

P.S. If you have or need a word of encouragement, feel free to comment below!

 

 

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

KelliClaypool December 24, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Wow, wow, WOW! Gina, you are simply amazing and have an incredible way with words. When we learn to take the focus off of ourselves and put it on others, we find that we can endure much more. This is a difficult task, but one that we should strive for each and everyday. It’s awesome that when we give freely to others just how much we received in return.

When you do feel lonely, lost, and unloved, reach out to others. There are so many people who want to love, care, and support. Just like Gina says, we are all in your corner!

Thank you, Gina, for your powerful words. I love you girlfriend!! xoxo

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 1:59 am

Thanks so much Kelli! Yes, the Diva’s are here! hahaha We laugh in the face of adversity.

Reply

Debbi Cole December 24, 2010 at 9:15 pm

As someone who finds the holidays difficult to endure, I do draw strength from various means. Thank you for such a positive message. God Bless and Merry Christmas!

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 1:58 am

Oh Debbi – you don’t just draw strength – you GIVE strength to more people than you know, with your sweet beautiful presence.

Reply

S_masterama December 25, 2010 at 5:52 am

Thank you! I’ve needed this as Christmas is bittersweet right now. Having had my dad here for 8 months living in our home and sober, only to have him slip and choose to be living in his pain, failures, etc. Life with the bottle is easier for him that making hard decisions for change. Your words are my prayer for him…that he remembers he is loved. First by God and then by God through us. I’m also praying that the seeds of love that my family and friends here have planted in him will grow and choke out everything else. Join me in praying for him please. Merry Christmas

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Oh, I will ABSOLUTELY join you in praying for your dear Dad. And I acknowledge you too, for having a heart full of grace and forgiveness when it’s not easy. May you be blessed this Christmas and always.

Reply

Melinda December 25, 2010 at 5:25 pm

I absolutely LOVE this post. What God is doing in you is ministering to me. I’m so blessed & encouraged by His Word spoken through you.
Merry Christmas, Gina. We are rich in so many ways.
Thank you for this powerful reminder.

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Thank you Melinda! I was hoping this would not feel like a depressing post to people. It is such a day of grace and goodness, even among challenges.

Reply

Melinda Lancaster December 25, 2010 at 6:05 pm

It’s not at all depressing. It addresses a NEED and brings guidance concerning how to reframe what can be an extremely difficult time in a way that the best can be seen.
I love that…and I love you for writing it!

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Sweet! Thank you!

Reply

Joliejesse December 25, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Gina, thank you for this post…this Christmas season is very tough for me with the loss of my Mom and having to spend my 1st Christmas without her. A huge void is in my heart and instead of Christmas joy, I have felt sorrow and numbness for the past several days. Christmas or any other day for that matter is just not the same without her! I have really struggled with her loss. Thanks for reminding me that if I continue to look to God he will in time, fill that void for me and flood my life with many blessings, and that he will surround me with his abundant love always. You are so awesome my friend! Hope you and the kids have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year (I know it’s not easy for you either with Paul overseas). God bless you Gina…HE will surely reward you one day for all you do for others!

Reply

GinaParris December 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Oh God bless you, Jolie. I am so sorry for your loss, and so thankful that your Mom is part of your future, not just your past. (in fact, she just might be closer now than ever, huh?) It’s a day of hope, and yeah – we pray that its a sweet day for Paul too. God bless our military guys and gals!

Reply

Totallyhearts December 25, 2010 at 7:43 pm

COVER BY GRACE!!! El Shaddia!!! <3 GoD Factor!!! :))))) FOREVER AMEN!

Reply

Dhyde December 25, 2010 at 10:46 pm

Type your comment here.
Wow! That hit home today for me. I volunteered with Lane and Evelyn Curlee to deliver meals to families in need or shut-ins. I had nine meals to deliver and one of my last stops was a senior lady named Hazel in Dosset apartments. When I got in the door she burst into tears and said her face was hurting. I sat with her for awhile, held her hand and just talked. Things got better and I told her I would be back in the future to check on her. I was so blessed today. Great Christmas for me. Dennis Hyde

Reply

GinaParris December 26, 2010 at 8:07 pm

That is so cool Dennis, that you got to deliver meals and sit with a lady who was hurting. You made someone’s day. Thanks for sharing with us.

Reply

Dari December 25, 2010 at 11:47 pm

Aloha Gina, I really like your essay. The hook/title is nice — though I think you could rename it from “what if Christmas sucks” to something else and it would still be a wonderful message.

Authenticity is the key – honesty – God can handle our downs and lows — there is no need to feel even worse when pain won’t dissipate. This is a difficult thing to hurt and it makes everyone around the hurting person uncomfortable. Sometimes at Christmas, its this awkwardness that actually brings us together if we have the ability to see that hurting people are exactly why Jesus was born — He came for those who needed him most. Jesus said, “do the well go to a doctor? I did not come for the righteous, but the unrighteous.” So if you know of someone (or you are yourself the one) hurting, let Jesus hug you. He came for you. [Matthew 9:12-13]

Reply

GinaParris December 26, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Thanks for your words, Dari. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that this is a fabulous year for you and your ministry.

Reply

Wallen December 26, 2010 at 3:54 am

Gina,

I just heard that my grandfather passed away. I had this link open for hours but i didn’t read it, I was closing the tabs and decided to read it.

Thank you, Thank you for posting these words. Even with all the pain I am now feeling after reading this I feel a sense calm like its going to be alright.

Reply

GinaParris December 26, 2010 at 8:02 pm

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and thankful that you are feeling that sense of calm. Yes, we will agree that all will be all right.

Reply

Lisa7053 December 27, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Christmas is always a time of mixed feelings for me. It is the simple fact that my Mother treats us like garbage when we visit, but I feel I have to visit her. It’s a five hour drive and we start getting the put downs as soon as we walk in the door…why are you so late…sos and so’s kids came home and stayed for 4 days not just 2… why don’t you want my coffee….. and so on. It gets worse as years go by and now that my dad has passed away, it’s horrible. But we are going for two days this week, i feel sick to my stomache and can’t wait till it’s over. I’m 40 years old, I really shouldn’t be feeilng this way I know. I tell my mom that she would catch a lot more flies with honey, if she could be friendly we’d probably come over more, as it is the 3 times a year is almost too much.

Reply

GinaParris December 27, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Dang, that is a bummer for sure. I will pray that you can find a peaceful place in your heart and be surprised to enjoy your visit. For millions of families, Christmas is a time of drama. After I moved away from Spokane, I used to call my sisters each year just to hear of the ridiculous stuff I missed – and my family is fairly normal! haha. Thankfully we can usually laugh about it all now.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: