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I read on FoxNews recently that the divorce rate among military couples is up 43% since the beginning of the Iraq/Afghanistan war. I also happen to know that on some military installations, like Ft. Campbell, the divorce rate is now a staggering 90%.

Really? We went to war and ended peace at home? Our military families face unique stressors (as I know firsthand) but whether you wear a uniform or not, I want to share 4 keys to peace at home. We live in a world filled with wars and rumors of wars – not just literally – but financially, emotionally and relationally.

I am convinced that all true success begins and ends with relationships – especially those inside your own home. What a perfect place to revel in peace on earth. Below are 5 steps to get you started:

P – Pursue personal growth. Take responsibility for your own ability to grow spiritually, mentally and physically. You can feel good, no matter how your spouse or kids are feeling.

E – Enrich your relationships. Make a point of spending time with friends who build you up and bring out the best in you. Look for ways to be a blessing to them. Then, bring your best self to your loved ones at home. Too often those closest to us get our leftovers, and our selfishness.

A – Accept the things you cannot change. What we resist persists, so the first step to overcoming frustration is to accept the things you can’t change, (like other people) and accept yourself in spite of all your emotions about it.

C – Cultivate a spirit of faith. Once you’ve accepted what you can’t change, you are able to look for the good in every situation. Life is 10% about what happens to us, and 90% about how we respond to it. Keep that switch of faith turned on and expect a positive outcome.

E – Express your gratitude. Never focus on what you don’t have, don’t know or can’t do! Instead focus on all you have to celebrate. When we are thankful for the good things in our life, we attract more good things. Gratitude is the healthiest of emotions – and leads to a life of inner peace and outer joy.

My prayer is that this year, no matter what goes on in this crazy world, your heart and your home will be filled with love, joy and peace. There is Love available to you that never fails. That love will enable you to walk in P E A C E that transcends understanding. In that place nothing is missing and nothing is broken. You are whole.

I believe in you!

This morning I went on a walk. This is my daily “gratitude walk.” I highly recommend this – for mental and physical fitness.

While I raced along the few miles, I gave thanks for all the beautiful things that I noticed – the brightly colored leaves, the blue sky, the perfect weather,  and the three different friends who honked and hollered out my name, reminding me that there are worse things than living in a small town.

And then…as I was cruising along, thinking about all I have to do today, a turtle nearly tripped me. Yes, he was almost crossing the paved walking path. I picked him up and he tucked his head and legs into his shell faster than you could say, “slow and steady.” I did not know that turtles make a vacuuming sound when they do that. I must have stressed him.

I stared at his beauty and contemplated bringing him home. He could be my token reminder to slow down. I wondered if he belonged to the orthodontist, from whose multiple acres he was emerging. I considered a phone call:

“Hey Doc? I wondered if I could have this turtle in exchange for the five grand I  dropped on Firstborn’s already perfect teeth…” That could be fair.

But alas, I carefully placed my beautiful frightened buddy back on the huge lawn, and thought about his pace. Slow and steady, slow and steady.

Today, I take my lesson from the turtle. I will win the race. I will stay peaceful and diligent, and if I get stressed, I’ll vacuum!

How about you?

Did you take a gratitude walk today? If so, or even if not…let’s hear some things for which you are thankful! You can post right here.

Yours,

Gina

Recently week I read a book about a marvelous judge named Maxx Rosenn, of the US Court of Appeals, Third Circuit. The tribute was written by one of his protégé’s, Dr. Mollie Marti, who is one of my mentors. The book was a masterful look at mentorship, excellence, and leaving a legacy.

As I read, I found myself captivated by a man who was so important, so busy and yet who seemed to move slowly, deliberately and with incredible productivity. Though physically slight, he was truly a man of stature.

One thing Mollie notes about her mentor is that he was a “master at the art of rejuvenation.”

What a lovely phrase.

It got me thinking about the way it’s easy to rush here and there and miss the beauty of life. How sad to miss a chance to be rejuvenated.

It seems we have a chance right now. So, let’s Rejuvenate, shall we?

What does that even mean? Re-ju-ven-ate: Verb: To make young again.

Here’s how to start:

1. Laugh out loud
   It’s been said that the average child laughs 400 times a day while the average adult laughs almost never! Look for the funny side of things, and let yourself laugh. There’s a reason the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to “such as these.”
2. Slow Down
   Try breathing slowly for a few moments and focus on feeling your body relax. Where ever you are right now – it’s a perfect place to be, on the inside. Stop and smell the roses.
3. Become Present
   Tune in to everything that you can glean right this moment through your senses. What can you see that is lovely? What sounds do you hear when you listen closely? Are there any fragrances in the air? What about taste and touch? Find delight through your senses.
4. Give Thanks
   The healthiest emotion you can cultivate is thankfulness. As you laugh, slow down and become present you will find yourself giving thanks. As you do, you open your life to so much more of the good things you desire.

That will make you age backwards! That is when you’ve mastered the art of rejuvenation.

Warning: this is not my typical kind of post…

Every where we look it seems that sex scandals rock the news. Today it’s Penn State and their legendary football coach Joe Paterno. How sad.

You know I love the world of sports and sports performance. I spend a lot of energy now using sports psychology techniques to help people heal sexually. Perhaps I’ve never answered the question to my followers of, “Why?”

Watching the Joe Paterno drama unfold on the internet and the brief moments that I turn on the TV has me stirred to answer that question and make a point.

It MUST become too dangerous to have sex with children or to cover up for those who do. In staying silent about what he knew, Joe Paterno was wrong, and should indeed be dismissed from his seat of glory. Of course he would do things differently if he could. He is not a monster. It’s just that the issue is bigger than it seemed.

The reason I have poured myself into sex & relationship issues, is because my eyes were opened a few years ago to the prevalence of child sex trafficking that happens right here in our own country. In every American city, predators know just where to go to pay for sex with a child. This does not count all the other ways that predators get their sick “fix.” The average child molester will abuse more than 350 victims during his lifetime. Three hundred and fifty – innocent lives crushed! The average age of a child victim – eleven years old.

When the influence of such sickness rears its head on our top universities, and athletic programs, is it right to turn our heads just because football victories may be on the line? Surely not. The thought should nauseate us.

 

 

This is a hideous multi-billion dollar criminal industry and frankly, I can’t bring myself to look at it too closely.

That’s why in 2010, I teamed up with Stop Child Trafficking Now, the only organization that infiltrates, investigates and brings air-tight cases to law enforcement to collapse wicked trafficking rings. They employ retired Navy Seals who have dedicated the rest of their lives to use their amazing reconnaissance skills for justice. They work to make it too dangerous to exploit a child.

For my part, I finally built Winning At Romance so I could create something beautiful—healthy, sexy love lives—and use the funds to help stop something so hideous.

So far, I’ve only been able to give in the thousands to this organization, but my goal is six figures.

This is what drives me:

-An indignation over evil.

-The knowledge that the love inside my home is the kind of love craved everywhere.

-The conviction that together, we can truly change the world.

For this I will risk being misunderstood. I will endure ugly emails from those who don’t agree with my message or my methods. I’ll talk about sex on every radio & TV show that lets me, and I will continue to believe that Love is greater than evil, Healing is greater than brokenness, and Light will triumph over darkness. I know The Redeemer lives and relationships can be transformed.

So why else do I talk so much about stuff that no one else will touch? Because giving real, honest answers to people’s real honest pain is the only way I know to do my part.

Do I still offer regular Peak Performance coaching? ABSOLUTELY – and I still LOVE it. I just speak to more areas of a person’s performance now.

I know what compels me. My prayer for you is that you will know what compels you—and you will live in integrity to your calling. And of course, I hope you will join me in this cause to reclaim pure love in a world gone mad.

I believe in you!

 

 

 

Gina

P.S. If you would like to join me, here’s what to do:

Please go to my facebook page, hit “like” and fill in the form on the welcome page for regular updates. And then tell three friends to do the same.

www.facebook.com/WinningAtRomance

 

 

I stumbled upon this “love quote” from Lady Gaga recently:

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”

Aaaah words from a Rock Star, “…remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”

Lady Gaga was a child prodigy when it comes to music but to love, I’m not so sure. The problem is…

Lady G, gives us a false dichotomy – choose either love or a career. She relates choosing love to “following a man” instead of your dreams.

Hmmm. That can indeed be painful. I chose to follow my husband’s career all over the world. Some years, I got into a pity party, but that sure doesn’t mean that I have not pursued my dreams. Instead having a family and having a global influence was always a big part of my dream.

Still, I’m not sure how crazy I am at the thought that love means choosing to “follow” a man. I think it means choosing to do life together.

Is it true that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore?

Perhaps. Although in the case of someone like Lady Gaga, or Michael Jackson, or Jesus, history shows that the masses of fans can quickly turn into haters.

It’s more likely however, that we will wake up and say to our career, “I don’t love you anymore.” Sometimes, even when we appear very “successful.”

In the end we find out that whether we are seeking happiness from a person or from a career, neither one can truly satisfy. Those qualities we are all aching for are not met from the outside.

A study at Southern Methodist University revealed that ultimately everybody wants the same things in life. No matter what external goals people pursue, it seems what they really want is the feeling that those things will hopefully provide. Perhaps the number one desire of the heart seems to be a certain amount of wealth, a certain kind of relationship or even a certain level of health.

Unfortunately if that “certain” thing is attained, the realization is that it fails to satisfy. Ask Tom Brady, football sensation with his superbowl rings and supermodel wife. In a 60 minutes interview he admitted with honest puzzlement, “I get everything I’ve ever wanted and feel like, is this all there is?”

Those people who are the happiest in life and love and even sport and career have an interesting perspective. They found the happiness first. The external achievements, the fulfillments of their dreams, came as a result of the hard work they took in faith and certainty.

On the bright side, that is the beauty of happiness. It can be savored right this moment without one single external thing changing.

I have no guarantees that my career will love me tomorrow – or that I will love it. I do know that I am committed to the people I’m called to serve, and the God who called me. I also know that as long as its up to me, I’ll do so with that husband of mine by my side. That is my dream, and I get to live it right now.

Why am I so committed to my marriage? I’m not sure. Maybe because it’s not a Bad Romance.

If you’d like to know how to live happier than a rock star with your mate than be sure to invest in yourself with 10 experts, who have it figured out. Listen any time to the Love and Sex Summit at home:

www.SexySummit.com